The phenomenon of off-ramp panhandling has steadily grown over the last few years to the point where it's a pervasive annoyance in all urban centers across North America. The protocol is fairly standard. Unlike street corners, off-ramps present captive audiences. While motorists idle there, they can't cross the street to get away, back up, turn around, change direction, or pretend not to notice. Like a fender-bender, the guy with the "Single dad. Outta work. Kids hungry" sign scribbled on a scrap of cardboard will always command your attention.
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| "There's a sucker born every minute." Some are cleverly disguised as donors, though. |
While I'd never dole out any change that happened to be bouncing around on the floorboards and had my suspicions, I gave the off-ramp panhandlers the benefit of the doubt. They looked "needy" enough and they weren't squeegee kids with $300 sneakers. Hell, some even had the ratty knapsack and sleeping mangy dog as part their accoutrements. Throw in a spelling mistake on a weathered sign for good measure and Charles Dickens couldn't have crafted a better character. My suspicions were confirmed last month when I observed a formal "shift change" at a busy off-ramp. The two "beggars" smiled and appeared to exchange pleasantries (or maybe they were discussing their stock portfolios), one packed up to depart, but not before he gave his ratty cardboard sign to his successor.
This is nothing more than a racket. These aren't random crackheads looking for a few bucks for a fix. It's a well-orchestrated scam that has ostensibly pushed many a motorist's sympathy button. After the "shift change" incident, I began paying closer attention. At a typical off-ramp with 8 or 9 cars ahead of me waiting for the light to change, three motorists made a donation. Assuming that amounted to a couple of bucks and the scenario repeats itself every 90 seconds, that's $80/hour...TAX FREE!!! Are you starting to rethink your "nine-to-five" gig? For that kinda scratch, who could blame ya?
Of course, these guys are working without benefits, but I wonder who would "benefit" if my car should careen off the ramp after encountering some ice and slam into one of these poor souls. I'm sure it wouldn't be me.
Apparently, there are several motorists who do contribute to off-ramp panhandlers' pension funds. I guess these contributions make the donor feel good and that's a nice, noble ideal. The problem of course is that there are charities in your community that could really use your loose change. Stick to those when feeling philanthropic. In the meantime, if you must bestow a handout upon a hungry-looking off-ramp panhandler, canned goods have a long shelf life.
